How to Screw Up Everything
by Resdan
Summary: Sometimes the best dreams make for the worst realities.
1. Chapter 1

Cold. Wet. No air. Can't breathe. Look up. Light. Surface. Air. Flailing limbs. Break surface. Breathe in, breathe out.

I look around. I'm swimming in the middle of a large body of water, no land in sight. Calm down. I look around more closely. A dark shape rises above the horizon, just barely in sight. I start swimming that way.

"Finally, a use for those freaking swimming lessons." I always that mom was being unreasonable when i was a kid making me take a swimming course every summer. Never thought i would really need it. Now I'm juts grateful.

It takes a while. A long while. But finally the shape gets close enough to see and then close enough to start yelling.

"Anybody up there? I could use a hand."

A couple of face pop over the side, staring at me like I'm the freaking holy grail, looks of equal parts disbelief and wonder.

"I hate to be needy," I call up,"but I'm getting a little tired!"

Hah. They get moving, one finding a rope while another gets one of those life saver ring flotation thingies. It comes flying through the air and lands pretty close by.

" I've got a hold of it!"

The men start reeling me in (obviously the catch of the day) and moments later I'm on board. One of the men walks up while the others go back to doing ship stuff. Probably. My nautical knowledge is non-existent. I take a look at the approaching man. Big guy. Like reeeaaallly big. Kinda huge. Dark hair. Really well tanned.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"Other than a little sore and being absolutely soaked and now smelling very strongly of salt, I'm fine. Thank your help."

"You're welcome. As thanks for our saving your life, you mind answering a few questions?", he asks. " Like how you end up twenty miles off the coast of Vale?"

"Vale? I don't believe I'm familiar with any place called Vale." I reply. Last I remember was going to sleep in the middle of nowhere Alabama. The sailor gives me a strange look.

"Vale? You know one of the five kingdoms of Remnant? One of the last safe havens in the world? Did you drink any of that water kid?"

Crap. I thought this only happened in bad fanfiction. Crap. I'm in freaking RWBY. What point in the timeline? What do I do? Wait and try and act at only the most important moments? Go forth with my knowledge to the authorities? Tip off team RWBY?

The sailor clears his throat. Ok. First things first. Establish a back story.

"Oh right. That Vale. I thought you meant something else. And as to how I got here? I, um. I don't know." Crap. Think faster. The man gives me a dry look. " I can't remember. I can't remember much of anything actually." Mostly true. The sailor gives me one more once over.

"Alright then," he says. "We will be stopping at the capital in a few days. Until then would you at least tell us your name?"

Give my real name? It can't hurt right?

"My name is Thales."

He nods and walks away. That's great. Now I'm stuck on this boat for a couple of days, with a bunch of men who do not trust me, and are much bigger, and better muscled than I. Sometimes my life sucks. Actually, all the time.

Okay. Now plan a little bit. There is no way I could make it into Beacon by passing the test. Or at least it is unlikely. Apply for Signal maybe? Gonna need money for that. Speaking of money, supplies. What do I have. One green t-shirt, one pair of jeans, one white hoodie, and three throwing knives. Alright. At the very least I have some weapons. Sorta. Going to need to find some work. Maybe try to get a job at that Dust shop? The old man is involved in enough events for me to keep track of the timeline, while still staying relatively safe.

Screw this. I've got a couple of days before I can really even begin to make a plan. For now, sleep will do.

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><p><strong>AN: So I woke up in the middle of the night to write a self indulgent (SI. I can pretend I'm clever right?) piece of fiction and this is what I came up with. So... yeah. Feel free to leave a review, positive or negative. I'd appreciate any response whatsoever. So if you made it this far, thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

The first hing I felt upon waking up was a boot to the side. It's not the best way to wake up, but the pain is a great motivator to start moving. I open my eyes, sit up, and glare at the owner of the aforementioned foot. It was one of the sailors.

"Port is in sight. The captain wants you gone as soon as we dock," he all but growls before turning away and leaving.

As it turns out the guy who I first spoke with was the captain, and he did not take kindly to my explanation of how I ended up in the situation he found me in. After our first conversation our contact was limited to him telling me where I could sleep, eat, and crap. His men followed his lead with remarkable singularity of purpose, and I might as well have been alone for all the human contact I had.

Though this did at least give me time to start planning. I figure my best bet regardless of where in the timeline I might be is to apply for Beacon. It provides food, shelter, combat training, and a history class that would be extremely helpful in avoiding any slip ups. Provided I'm in the right time, it also gives me access to RWBY and JNPR. However, considering my current lack of a significant weapon, aura, and having combat skills superior only to Jaune's (and maybe not even his) it is doubtful I could pass the test.

A second viable option is to find work at one of the more important shops. If I could get a position in Junior's Club, A Simple Wok, or From Dust to Dawn keeping track of the timeline would be possible and it would provide me with income. However, Junior's Club comes with the risk of Yang delivered broken bones and the other two are the equivalent of minimum wage jobs. Not exactly ideal.

But anyway, time to move. I gather up my few things and walk onto the deck. The captain glares at me for a moment, before turning away and yelling something at someone. After a while, you just kinda start tuning the specifics out as when you don't understand the specifics it makes absolutely no sense.

Vale's port was just coming in sight with a few wooden docks and some guard rails being the only things separating it from the rest of the city. The buildings were fairly modern, multileveled structures predominantly gray. I stare at the city , trying to catch a glimpse of the random shop that got robbed. At the very least I don't see any super obvious police tape. Guess my first move is to try and find that shop then.

As soon soon as the ship is tied down or anchored or whatever, I'm off. If memory serves Sun ran to the right facing the city and passed RWBY who came from that shop. I head that way but every thing appears to be normal, and for that matter there's no streamers, or decorations of any sort. Which indicates that at least it's not the Vytal festival. This early in the morning there are only a few people wandering around so I walk up to a younger guy who seems to be in a fairly decent mood.

"Excuse me sir? Do you know where a shop called From Dust to Dawn is?" I ask.

"Yeah. Head down that street until the second intersection then take a right. Keep that way for a while and you should pass it." He answers. I thank him and head that way. After a few minutes of walking I find the shop. I start to walk in, but then a critical piece of information hits me. I'm broke. Like I got nothing. Still I gotta start somewhere, so I steel myself and walk in.

The shop is laid out kinda like some sick cross of a convince store and a jewelry store. Dust crystals line a display case with the register behind it, tubes of a powder form of dust take up a wall, and regular shelves dominate the rest of the store. The old shopkeep stands behind the display case, looking up as I walk in. He grunts, presumably as a welcome, before dismissing me and returning to his previous activity.

I walk to the back of the store looking for the magazine rack and when I find it I pick up what I hope is the most recent issue of _ The Vale Times_. No news on a string of dust robberies, or clubs blowing up, or little girls with giant scythes of death fighting criminals so it's safe to assume I'm pre volume one. Hopefully. Browsing a little deeper there is an article on Beacon's open event in the next few days where anyone is free to come and be tested. I take note of the time and location and just as I'm about to put the the paper down I notice a small ad in the corner of the paper.

" Help wanted. Class one Grimm attacking sewage system. Bring proof of confirmed kill to City Hall. Reward 5000 Lien."

I set the paper down and start browsing the store. I quickly make my way over to the snack foods and start examining the prices. 157 Lien for a bag of chips, 203 for a large drink, 98 for a piece of candy. Looks like it's roughly 100 Lien to 1 dollar. That means that job pays out about 500 dollars. If I want to do anything helpful, I'm gonna have to have some cash. Need a place to stay and a weapon in particular. So I'm gonna do it. Now I just need to find out where the sewers are.

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><p><strong>AN: So this was going to be longer, but instead I decided to go for somewhat frequent but short chapters, as opposed to longer but incredibly infrequent chapters. Also, changed a few thing with chapter one to better fit with canon RWBY. By which I mean that I changed the MC's name and color scheme. More on that in the chapter one notes. SO anyway, feel free to leave a positive or negative reviewdirect message/whatever and thanks for reading!**


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